Day 30: Who are you?
So this is the climax of this challenge. My life’s obviously been an open book to people that I know, but only a few knows much about me. A few close friends from high school and college, and my bestfriend. Not even my parents know everything about me. I have things that I keep only to myself and a few that only me and my bestfriend know of.
I’m nothing but a girl trying to make a name for herself.
I’ve always wanted to prove something. To be known for something good. To be remembered. I’m just your ordinary girl, still tryin’ to move out of my shell and discover more about life. There’s still a lot of things that I am unaware of. I like taking chances and going out on adventures.
My personality can shift from that demure girl just sitting around the corner to that very outgoing person who will not say no to anything new! Most importantly, I perfectly know the people whom I should give importance to. Without them, I’d be nothing. People who treat me dearly surely deserves a good spot in my heart :”>
KBye. It’s 1:49AM and my cold bed’s waiting for me now :)
Day 29: In this past month, what have you learned
I’m assuming by month, they mean the period of time I’ve been doing this challenge. But I shall go beyond that. This past month’s pretty much filled with things about school. I’ve been told “Ann, know your priorities” by my dad. And to tell you frankly, that’s the first time he said it to me. He was really, really serious. It’s scary because dad usually supports me with everything that I do. But this past month, especially before the Finals week began, he always catches me doing stuff other than finishing my requirements for Finals. He told me it ain’t bad to be active with extra-curricular activities, but I shouldn’t let it hinder me from meeting the more important deadlines. That actually taught me a lesson. As expected, I had to cram over lots of school requirements before Term 1 finally ended. Lesson learned. Dad really knows best! Better time management for this term’s required.
Through this 30-day challenge, I was able to see things beyond what is expected. Surprisingly, I was also able to fill this blog with more personal stuff ranging from photography to well-thought blog entries. I’m impressed by how personal my blog really looks now. Less reblogs, and more original posts. Awesome :>
Another important learning is to not expect too much from people if you don’t wanna end up disappointed and feeling worse than you already do. Of course everyone has their ups and downs, and you’d always have people asking you what’s wrong. But not everyone is concerned. Really. The rest are just curious. I actually don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends I can be certain of.
I’m currently missing my APCian friends, especially my blockmates from ABMA91 :’(
I haven’t seen them for two weeks. I might visit APC on Wednesday or Thursday, but still ain’t sure if I could enroll. But I’m still hoping for the best.
Nobody wants to be left behind.
Day 28: A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Well, obviously my hair was much, much longer last year. I remember around this time last year, I dyed my hair from copper brown to black but after that I went to something reddish. Burgundy red, if I still remember it right. But then I had 14 inches of my hair cut around February.
Aside from the change of hairstyle, I was obviously thinner last year. Haha I’ve gained so much weight since then. Hmm, what else… When it comes to school stuff, I’ve certainly improved with Photography, Graphic Design, 2D Animation, 3D Modelling and Animation, Game Authoring, Digital Sound Engineering, and Video Production. Heh! Too much shiz about Multimedia Arts lol but I’m not saying that I’m really good with all those stuff, I just learned more about them and how to do them. My heart still belongs to Graphic Design :)
But yea, I’ve grown since then. I’ve learned a lot more stuff, not only about school, but also about life and love. I have also made more awesome friends!! :> I can’t think of any other things to say. That’ll do for now.
Day 27: Why are you doing this 30-day challenge
I thought that this might be one way for me to discover more about myself. Y’know, those self-discovery sorts lol yea, I’m serious. This 30-day challenge didn’t fail me, it has worked exactly as I expected it to. It made me consider things which I usually take for granted and wouldn’t ordinarily think a lot about.
It has certainly been really good for the soul. I have enjoyed this more than I thought. Although there were some posts that have been so hard or boring to write about, there were also some which seriously made me cry as I write it. I like that challenge that requires you to write a letter for your parents. I’ve poured all my heart out while writing it. Even if I know I still don’t have the courage to let my parents read it and although I know there’s no way for them to see it, I still took that challenge seriously.
This challenge also made me get into a habit of something. Like writing something once a day. & I understand myself way better than before.
Day 26: What you think about your friends
I have a number of different groups of friends. A different group when I was in High school, and also different groups now that I am in college. They’re all awesome and they all mean a lot to me!
First two photos show me and my closest friends in High School. We all call each other Girlfriends. Yes, we are nine in the group. All coming from different sections in High School.
We all share the same type of joy when we’re together. They surely are amazing to hang out with and they’re the kind of people whom you can count on when times get rough.
DIGIMAG days. Some people from my block, ABMA91.
I couldn’t ask for a better group of people to hang out with and generally live with. I already have the most awesome people. I can proudly say that we ain’t those type who’s just living to impress people.
Last three are photos of me and my blockmates (ABMA91). We’re different people, bonded by this label. Being blockmates since first year, I can proudly say that we are the toughest among the 90’s. Lemme clear this out, it’s not bragging. I just appreciate how well all these dudes have done for the past 2 years to still manage to be regulars :)
We may laugh at the shallowest jokes and actions, but that’s how we roll. So don’t hate. We can get annoying at times, especially when we are in a big group, just laughing our hearts out. We don’t care where we are and whoever gets annoyed. We simply live happy lives.
I’m lucky that I’ve met these amazing people who easily understands me and never fails to make me laugh. Yes, we are not perfect. We may not be the best group or we may not look like an ideal circle of friends to others, but we don’t give a damn. I simply love these people, and that’s all that matters.
Two different big groups from High School and College, but I know for a reason that I’ve met the same people in different bodies. Still the same feeling, same types of trips and actions. Just different faces and at a different place. But I know fuh sho what type of people I am friends with. The good ones.
It’s not about who you’ve known the longest, it’s about those who never left your side.
Day 25: What I would find in your bag
Here’s all the stuff inside my usual school bag:
Mirror, Rosary, Umbrella, Notebook, Pen (preferably Pilot G-Tech 0.3), ID, Wallet, Cellphone, External HD, 8GB CD-R King USB, 2GB Silver USB, iPod Shuffle, Earphones, Money, Hair brush, Herbench/Zen Zest/Aficionado Perfume, Makeup Kit (Nichido Amber Beauty Cake, Ever Bilena Honey Face Powder, EB Advance Makeup Brushes, EB Mousse Matte Foundation in Pecan, EB Mousse Concealer in Pure Beige, EB Black Color Pencil, Avon Natural Beige Dual Powder Foundation, Lipstick/gloss, Avon Supercurlacious Mascara, Lots of hairpin, Watsons Moisturizing Lip Balm, The Body Shop Lip & Cheek Stain, Nichido Passionate Red Powder Blush and a good Eyelash curler), and lots and lots of bus tickets.
Day 24: A letter to your parents
This feels kinda weird, actually, writing my parents a letter which I can’t let them read now. But someday, I’d let them see this for sure. I just wanna take this 30-day challenge seriously and today’s challenge is something so personal. I wanna pour my heart out on this so I’m gonna try to write all the things I wanna tell them. Although I might not have the courage to let them know yet. I honestly don’t know how to start, continue or end this thing. But I guess I’ll just go with it. Imma start with my dad.
You’ve always been so special to me. You’re my biological father but since I was 4 years old, you were already my Papa. You never treated me as your stepdaughter and neither will I treat you as my stepdad. You’ve always been a father to me. I’ve felt no discrimination coming from you, at all. I even get more favored most of the time and I’m so thankful that you always appreciate every achievement that I get, whether it be in school or in my life. You never get tired of pushing me to reach my goals and you were always there in my darkest moments. Papa, you always got the sweetest words that a daughter would like to hear from her father after every blissful event.
I know how hard it is to have a daughter like me. I’m very
moodyand sensitivethat sometimes I take all your efforts for granted. Worse, I even answer backand act like I know betterthan you do. Papa, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry if I’ve ever let you feel that I disrespectyou. I’m sorry for showing you such bad actions and for blaming you when things go wrong. Papa, I hope you understand that I am not that strong to claim all of my mistakes and I know that you will ALWAYS understand me. Sorry for acting like a spoiled brat at times. Sorry if I can’t help you back when you have loads of work to do. I’m sorry that sometimes I choose to live a carefree life even if I know that I have the capacity to help you.
Papa, thank you so much for your never-ending love and support. You’ve always been my inspiration and forever you will be. You will continue to own this special place in my heart that no one else can take. You’ve shaped the core of my being and I can’t imagine life without you. Pa, you’re my savior, my knight in shining armor. You were always there when I almost gave up on everything. You always say “We’ll find a way” and you always help me. Whenever I succeed and I tell you I did because you helped me, you’d always stay humble and tell me that it would not have been possible if I didn’t work hard for it.
Papa, I know how much you’ve sacrificed for me and I am always thankful for that. I don’t wanna
disappointyou, but there are times that I know I already did. But I’m more than willing to use every single day of my life to make it all up to you. Papa, you will continue to be my inspiration. I know I’m getting better with everything that I do when you know about them, because I always wanted to impress you.
I know that whatever makes me happy, makes you happy too. I know that my achievement are your achievements as well. And if I succeed with the things that I want, I know you’d be the happiest. Papa, I hope you’ll never get tired of me. I hope you’ll never get tired of taking care of me when I’m sick. I hope you’ll never get tired of entering my room every morning before you leave for work to kiss me goodbye. I hope you’ll never get tired of appreciating, even the least of my works and achievements. I always pray for you and thank God for giving me a father like you. Papa, you’re one of the few treasures that I’ve got. And so far, the best among them. I don’t wanna lose you. Thank you for being the best dad that I could ever imagine. I love you so much.
Much love, Ann
Now it’s my turn to write something for my mom. This is even harder…
I can’t remember when this
wallbetween us started to get higher, neither can I remember if I’ve done anything so major that could make you stay awayfrom me. I’m sick of all these drama and endless and unreasonable fights between us. First of all, I just want you to appreciate. If at times you think I’m losing my respect for you, I just want you to know that you’ve taught me how to be like this. I’ve never wanted to have a gap between us. I’ve tried so many times to understand what’s happening and tried swallowing my pride just to reach for you but you always stay away. Okay, lemme clear this… This ain’t a hate letter but I just got a lot of bad things that I am keeping in my heart… My heart’s full of bad memories, really.
Mama, how hard is it for you to keep a promise? You always give me false hopes. But everytime you promise something, there’s still a part of me that wants to believe in you because I know that everyone can change. But you’ve failed me so many times and I feel so bad about it. I always put my hopes too high but never gets anything good in return. Many times have I believed that you could be better and that we could have a better relationship, but as I grow older, the more we’re
getting farfrom each other.
Seriously, I wanna have that kind of mom that all the other teenage girls have. That mom who can understand them. That mom whom they can tell their secrets and problems to. That mom who acts like their bestfriend. That mom who cares for them.
I always see you as the ill-tempered mom, almost
everythingannoys you and you’re always mad. Ever since I was little, I’ve always tried to aim higher because I wanted to impress you. I want you to be proud of me. But as I get older and as I achieved more, I still didn’t get that satisfied feeling from you. Worse, you even complain when I don’t get the best out of anything that I do. That’s what you notice. My weaknesses and never my strengths and achievements.
Ma, what has happened to us? :( You know I love you but now it is so hard for me to show it to you because you won’t let me. I’m so sorry for acting so strong, as if I don’t need you at all. I’m sorry for all those things that I’ve intentionally or unintentionally did to you and for those things that might have contributed to how we treat each other now. It’s weird that sometimes you act like you’re so proud and happy for me, but that just doesn’t last a day. It’s just for a short moment that I can’t stop thinking that maybe it’s just
pretend. Ma, I wanna feel your sincerity and I am most open to begin everything between us, if that’s what it takes. I always pray for you that you get enlightened. Please, I want everything to get better and I am ready to initiate it.
Much love, Ann
Day 23: Something you crave for a lot
There’s a lot of things that I’m currently craving for. Some can be bought just nearby, while some I’ve tasted in a really, really long time. Since I’m in a really good mood right now, I’m gonna put in five of them.
Mashed Potato with gravy
Oh Myyyy, how unique it tastes from the usual Philippine ice cream :| The creaminess!
Bomba con Crema
This is more than just a sugar donut with cream inside. You just gotta taste a freshly baked bomba!
Mmmm makes me wanna treat myself later :))
Culatello di Parma
Oh Myyy!! This is literally a taste of heaven! Just one or two slices of the Culatello will make you understand why it’s receiving such praise from me. This ain’t bacon… and it can be eaten fresh. Raw. Just like salad.
Day 22: What makes you different from everyone else
This is tough. I really don’t know how to answer this because at some point, I think I’m just the same as everyone else. I guess what makes me different depends on how others perceive me. We all know that we are different from one another but at some point, there’s bound to be someone who is like one person. Although not exactly, but is kinda similar.
I have secrets about my being and my body that I think makes me unique from everyone else. Also, the experiences that I’ve gone through and will be going through makes it all a part of my being. From how we lived from different places (which also meant changing schools so fast during my early years) and also my random yet memorable times during highschool, to the current things that I doing for college. They all make me unique from everyone else.
Also, I’ve tried tutoring two younger kids two or three terms ago (while going to school at the same time). Can you do that? lol I don’t have to brag about it but it was a really hard time because I needed to drop by their house daily. I usually get home at around 11PM EVERYDAY. I’ve had no social life during that time aside from social networking sites. But then school became more stressful that I couldn’t handle all the pressure and the hard time management anymore so I had to stop tutoring them.
There’s also a lot of things which I think made me more mature. I’ve learned not to take a lot of things for granted and be more thankful for what I’ve got. Less complaints about life. All those things made life more meaningful to me & they all contribute to the things which I think makes me unique :)